Cyclejen's Blog

A bike…
March 25, 2010, 11:24 pm
Filed under: Cycle Jen Main | Tags: , ,

A bike. A bicycle. A two wheel penny farthing. A leg strainer, a thigh mangler, a goddam bum executioner. A relic. An anachronistic mode of transport. Question 8 in the Hazard Perception section of the DSA theory test.

Yes, you may be unfamiliar with this ‘bike’ thing, barring vague memories of some childhood rite of passage involving scraped knees and stabilisers. You may recognise its indoor variant, the exercise bike, and may even have ridden one of these static torture devices in a gym for shits and giggles. I don’t know; who am I to judge for your past mistakes? And yet this thing called bike is something I am going to become intimately acquainted with in the next couple of months. Apparently, I am going to sit on the seat of this ‘bike’ put my feet on its ‘pedals’ and somehow create man-powered locomotion. And – get this – I will use this bike to travel from London to Paris. I’ve been told this is a long way, but I checked on the map and Paris is underneath London, so it must be all downhill.

Still, I must first get acquainted with bike. I spoke to my parents about my plans to search the antiques fairs and auctions to track down an example, and, to my surprise, they told me I actually already owned a bike that I had bought a few years ago. I initially thought that they must be joking – surely if I had bought something like this I would remember – but no, I am told this is a very common form of memory loss experienced with many consumer products, such as smoothie makers, Nintendo Wiis or pet rabbits that you keep in the garden. My mum offered hope when she blew away the dust from my cycling helmet and reminded me of that old adage, ‘once you learn, you never forget’. I really hope this is true or I’m going to look a bit of a tool cycling to Paris with stabilisers.

So bike it is and bike I go and all to raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. If I was doing it by car I think it’s technically called a holiday. I can’t even drive so I would probably be dozing in the back, and I don’t think you can ask for 1300 pounds in donations for snoozing. If you can, please let me know and I’ll endeavour to make snoozing next year’s fundraising project for CF. Because I’m willing to endure the trials, to go that extra mile, and that’s what counts. The Great CF Snooze 2011.  It’s catchy. I like it.


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You are awesome. 🙂 xxxx

Comment by Lizzie

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